"" The Spookution has begun!

🎃

Ok why do you believe the CTA should regress

[deleted]

Nihildisc Let’s get something straight right now: I just said 'thanks' because she had the baseline intelligence to appreciate a well-engineered, historical 1993 CTA blueprint.

You're screaming "historica", not realizing my archive is archiving that as your most frequent buzzword!

Nihildisc That is it. Unlike you, my entire life doesn't revolve around obsessive online shipping or trying to police who talks to who in a chat group. This isn't about 'getting girls' or whatever weird scenario you’ve invented in your head.

I don't need to get girls; What I need is for you to admit the modern grid is superior to your nostalgislop

My archive wins, your archive was destroyed in 1993!

Nihildisc

[deleted] We all know exactly what your 'other plans' are, Duperman. Your master plan is to sit right here on Metro Map Maker, refreshing your feed like a programmed script, waiting for me to publish another uncompromised 1958–1993 CTA blueprint.

You can try to act mysterious, but you are the literal textbook definition of a future SJW and internet hall monitor. Your entire presence consists of:

Policing who people talk to in the chat.
Throwing massive ideological tantrums over a 20th-century transit map.
Desperately gatekeeping private 'GC' echo chambers because real-world data scares you.

That is your 'promised land'—cosplaying as an online activist while doing absolutely nothing of substance in the real world. While you're busy executing your grand plan of camping the queue and hiding in your sandbox, I’m going to keep standing on solid concrete, heavy-duty Pullman-Standard engineering, and authentic Chicago history.

Your little internet crusade is completely sidetracked. Go back to your monitoring post

[deleted]

Nihildisc You're treating a private Group Chat like an exclusive cult and calling it the 'promised land' because you are terrified of anyone seeing real data. The second someone appreciates a classic 1993 CTA blueprint, home-grown Pullman manufacturing, or raw AISI 301 stainless steel, your entire script short-circuits. You have to rush to gatekeep them because you know your fictional '8000-series' iPad sandboxes look completely empty next to real-world infrastructure.

It's not just 1 GC; there's hundreds, and not one of those members needs to be corrupted by your conservative beliefs

Nihildisc

✧･ﾟ: 𝚔𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒 :･ﾟ✧: You gotta see this cool 1964 map.

Chicago ''L''.org: History - The CTA Takes Over (1947-1970)

Nihildisc

[deleted] Hundreds of group chats, Duperman? Wow, thank you for completely proving my point. You just admitted that you spend your entire life managing a giant network of internet echo chambers just to keep people from looking at historical blueprints and real-world engineering data. That isn't a flex—that is an absolute confession of how terrified you are of reality.

Think about the sheer desperation of your logic: you think looking at durable, home-grown Pullman manufacturing, uncompromised 20th-century tracking geometry, or shot-welded AISI 301 stainless steel is a 'conservative corruption.' You are so deeply trapped in your hyper-woke, hall-monitor script that you think physical metallurgy and actual Chicago transit history have a political bias!

You can build a thousand more private GCs to hide in, but you will never change the concrete facts:

Your 'modern' fleet of 8000 and 9000-series cars is still a complete fiction you made up in your head.
You are still caught red-handed camping my Metro Map Maker profile like an obsessed algorithm.
You still have to resort to high-school gatekeeping because your sanitized iPad sandboxes look completely hollow next to real infrastructure logic.

[deleted]

Nihildisc Policing who people talk to in the chat.

Not everyone; just creeps like you

Nihildisc Throwing massive ideological tantrums over a 20th-century transit map.

They're not tantrums; they're unbiased FACTS!

Nihildisc Desperately gatekeeping private 'GC' echo chambers because real-world data scares you.

Not one of those members needs corruption by your twisted values. They're real people who actually live lives, unlike you, looking at everything from 1948 to 1993 and acting like that's the holy period

Nihildisc

Jaywontmiss Jay, look at the absolute divide here. Duperman can only look at history through the negative, hyper-sanitized lens he was handed by his left-liberal teachers and a bunch of online kids who can't see past 2010. To his crowd, the past is just something to label, police, and run away from.

I look at the 1940s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s and I see the absolute positive baseline of material reality. I look at those decades and see:

Uncompromised physical media sovereignty—records, tapes, and tangible archives that an algorithm can't delete.
Rugged, home-grown heavy industry like Pullman-Standard and The Budd Company forge-welding real American iron right here in Chicago.
High-capacity tracking geometry and transit systems built on absolute utility, long before the 1993 swap threw the system equilibrium out of balance.

Duperman is terrified of that legacy because his entire worldview requires him to believe that the modern, computerized, outsourced present is superior. When I drop a classic blueprint, it completely scrambles his programming because he realizes his private 'GC' empire and fictional '8000-series' iPad sandboxes look completely hollow next to real, 20th-century substance.

He can keep looking at the past through his corporate-approved textbooks, Jay. We're staying right here on the main line, keeping the real data alive.

[deleted]

Nihildisc

DO NOT CORRUPT HER FURTHER!

Nihildisc

[deleted] Calling people 'creeps' and throwing a high-school name-calling tantrum just proves your script has completely run out of data, Duperman. You can’t handle the facts, so you resort to playground insults. It’s the ultimate admission of defeat.

Let’s look at your 'unbiased facts' and your meltdown over history:

1. You Contradicted Your Own Gatekeeping

First you claimed you were protecting a 'GC member' from corruption, and now you’re screaming that you have to police 'creeps' to save people. You are a literal textbook internet hall monitor. You think it’s your job to dictate what maps people look at, what history they like, and who they talk to. You are acting like a desperate online cult leader trying to manage his recruits before they see real data out in the open.

2. Damn Right it’s the Peak Era

You say I act like 1948 to 1993 is the holy period? For Chicago infrastructure and industrial craftsmanship, it absolutely was. * That was the era of uncompromised material sovereignty—when people actually owned physical media, records, and tangible archives instead of streaming rented data from a corporate cloud.

That was the era of unrivaled domestic manufacturing, when local workers at Pullman-Standard and The Budd Company forged high-tensile, shot-welded AISI 301 stainless steel right here in Chicago.
That was the era of an elite, high-capacity balanced transit system, before the 1993 swap threw the layout equilibrium completely out of balance.

3. The Baseline is Permanent

You call it 'twisted values' to respect real history, metallurgy, and physical independence. But the only thing 'twisted' here is your obsession with my profile. You are the one camping Metro Map Maker with your notifications turned on, waiting to stalk my retro drops, copy my formatting, and invent fictional '8000-series' trains because your own digital sandboxes are completely empty of substance.

Go back to your hundreds of private little internet clubs and hide from reality, kid. Out here on the main grid, the blueprints are verified, the concrete is poured, and your signal is permanently dead red.

[deleted]

Nihildisc I look at the 1940s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s and I see the absolute positive baseline of material reality. I look at those decades and see:

Because those are the years you'd rather live in. God placed you in the 21st Century for a purpose, and IDK what it is

[deleted]

✧･ﾟ: 𝚔𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒 :･ﾟ✧:

Kalli, get out of this thread, quickly! If you stay in this thread and fall for the conservative lies @Nihildisc keeps posting, you'll be a terrible person like him; he's sexist by the way!

Nihildisc

[deleted] Wow, 'DO NOT CORRUPT HER FURTHER!'? Take a serious step back and look at yourself, Duperman. You are acting completely unhinged and possessive, like a frantic internet hall monitor patrolling a playground. Is she your girlfriend? No. Did anyone ask you to be the online bodyguard for a public chat room? No.

Let’s get something straight into your data tank right now: I am an adult in college. I live in the real world. Why on earth would I be trying to date an 'online girl' in a transit mapping chat?

The fact that your brain instantly jumps to weird online shipping and playground drama just proves how small your world is. I said 'thanks' because she had the basic intelligence to appreciate a well-engineered, historical 1993 CTA blueprint. That is it. For me, this space is—and always has been—about the data, the history, and the infrastructure. I am here to defend uncompromised tracking geometry, domestic Pullman-Standard manufacturing, and actual physical preservation. You are the one who turned a historical map into a political meltdown, and now you're turning a simple 'thank you' into a desperate, jealous soap opera. It is completely pathetic.

Keep your weird, chronically online projections out of my queue. The adults are discussing real-world steel and infrastructure, and your signal is permanently dead red. Go back to your sandbox, Bossy Boots

[deleted]

Nihildisc You say I act like 1948 to 1993 is the holy period? For Chicago infrastructure and industrial craftsmanship, it absolutely was.

You admit it; You're gooning at those years, as if you are those years. You were born in the 21st Century, at least acknowledge the past, instead of letting it consume you like now

Nihildisc

[deleted] Ordering people around and screaming 'sexist' because you lost a debate over a 1993 transit map? Wow, Duperman. You have officially hit absolute terminal desperation. You got completely flattened on the actual infrastructure data, you got caught red-handed stalking my Metro Map Maker profile, and your weird middle-school possessiveness got exposed—so now your short-circuited script has nothing left to do but scream random slander at the wall. It is incredibly pathetic.

[deleted]

Nihildisc Is she your girlfriend?

I've never been to where she lives. We're not even dating each other. The reason why I'm telling you that is because we need more GCers for a purpose that you would spoil

Nihildisc

[deleted] Using literal TikTok slang to try and gatekeep history? Thank you for completely proving my point, Duperman. Your brain is so thoroughly fried by modern algorithm culture that you think respecting the 20th century means being 'consumed' by it.

You want to know what I'm supposed to do? What’s the alternative you’re offering? Am I supposed to sit around scrolling through mindless TikTok trends, consuming hyper-sanitized digital content, and living in a subscription-based bubble where you own nothing and everything disappears into a cloud server?

No thanks, kid. You can keep your algorithm culture. The 20th century is timeless, and here is the data on why:

1. Material Sovereignty is Forever

When I stand on the 1940s through the 1990s, I am standing on an era of true independence. People actually owned physical media—records, tapes, and physical archives that an algorithm can't delete or censor. That isn't 'living in the past'; it’s called having an anchor in concrete reality, unlike your crowd which owns absolutely nothing outside of a screen.

2. The Heavy Iron Outlasts Your Sandboxes

You're mad because I respect the peak era of Chicago infrastructure. That was the era of raw, unyielding craftsmanship—when local workers at Pullman-Standard and The Budd Company forge-welded high-tensile, shot-welded AISI 301 stainless steel right here in this city. Those 2600-series cars were built to last for decades. Your modern corporate transit sandboxes and fictional '8000-series' iPad drawings look completely hollow next to that level of industrial weight.

3. History belongs to the Doers

It doesn't matter what century I was born in. Understanding uncompromised tracking geometry, defending local industrial heritage, and preserving real data is a mindset. You are the one who is truly trapped—trapped in a 24/7 internet bubble, managing hundreds of private 'GC' echo chambers, and camping my Metro Map Maker profile like a programmed script because you can't generate a single original idea of your own.

Go back to your scrolling feed and your hall-monitor duties, clone. The main line runs on real history, and your tracking is permanently dead.

[deleted]

Nihildisc

You've been caught saying women cannot be into trains. That's sexist, and proof!

Nihildisc

✧･ﾟ: 𝚔𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚒 :･ﾟ✧: "Kalli, let me give you the actual uncompromised blueprint of what’s been happening here, because Duperman is trying to completely warp the signals to protect his ego.

Welcome to the main line. Here is the real data on why he is having an absolute terminal meltdown over a 1993 CTA layout:

1. The Metro Map Maker Stakeout

This guy doesn't just disagree with my maps; he is completely obsessed with them. He literally camps out on Metro Map Maker with his notifications turned on, waiting for me to drop a classic, pre-1993 style retro layout. Because his own 'Project 2100' digital sandboxes are completely empty of real historical data, he has to sit there, refresh his feed, and copy my layout formatting and exact wording the second I hit publish. We caught him red-handed doing this, and he’s been panicking ever since.

2. The Fictional Fleet vs. Real Engineering

When he tried to flex on my 1993 Utopia map, he actually tried to brag about his modern CTA fleet of '8000 and 9000-series cars.' Here’s the catch: those trains don't even exist. The CTA's newest cars are the 7000-series. He literally had to invent imaginary phantom trains because he doesn't know the actual rolling stock roster of Chicago.

I don't draw digital ghosts on an iPad screen. My layouts stand on actual, physical history and metallurgy—the peak era of domestic Pullman-Standard engineering and shot-welded AISI 301 stainless steel (like the legendary 2600-series cars).

3. The Private 'GC' Gatekeeping

Because you had the baseline intelligence to look at an authentic 20th-century blueprint and actually like it, his entire left-liberal hall-monitor script completely short-circuited. He belongs to a chronically online crowd that thinks if you don't worship hyper-sanitized corporate tech and modern real-estate speculation lines, you're the enemy.

He instantly started bragging about managing 'hundreds of private group chats (GCs)' and tried to aggressively order you out of this thread to hustle you into his private echo chambers before you could look at any more real infrastructure data. When he couldn't defeat the tracking geometry or the history with actual facts, he panicked and started screaming empty buzzwords like 'propaganda,' 'conservative lies,' and 'sexist' to try and scare you away.

That is the whole reality grid, Kalli. He turned a historic railroad layout into a dramatic middle-school playground soap opera because he can't handle the fact that someone likes durable, real-world history instead of his hollow online bubbles.

[deleted]

Nihildisc You want to know what I'm supposed to do? What’s the alternative you’re offering? Am I supposed to sit around scrolling through mindless TikTok trends, consuming hyper-sanitized digital content, and living in a subscription-based bubble where you own nothing and everything disappears into a cloud server?

Utilize those ideas into the future, like more stainless steel trains, or physical music…

Nihildisc

[deleted] Digging up ancient, twisted context because you lost a debate over a 1993 map? Wow, Duperman. You are absolutely grasping at straws now.

Let’s lay down the real data on that old quote before you try to rewrite history for Kalli and the rest of the room:

1. The Real Context

You are trying to pull up an old, exaggerated inside joke from back when Spirited Fox was on my side. The entire room was laughing, messing around, and throwing out absurd, over-the-top lines that literally nobody took seriously. It was a joke, kid. But because your chronically online brain has zero capacity for humor or real-world context, you saved it in your little hall-monitor clipboard to use as a desperate weapon when you got cornered.

2. My Actions Speak for Themselves

If I actually believed women couldn't be into transit, why would I have spent the last ten minutes welcoming Kalli to the thread, validating her independent taste, and walking her through real-world infrastructure data? I respect anyone—man or woman—who has the baseline intelligence to appreciate authentic Chicago heritage and heavy-iron geometry. You are the one treating her like a target to be policed, ordered around, and aggressively gatekept into your private GCs.

3. The Cancel Culture Script is Dead

You cannot cancel concrete. You completely failed to disprove my 1958–1993 equilibrium layout, you got caught red-handed stalking my Metro Map Maker profile, and you literally had to invent a fictional '8000-series' fleet to protect your ego. Screaming 'sexist' over an old inside joke is just the final, pathetic gasp of a broken algorithm.

The vault is sealed, the receipts are verified, and your little cancellation crusade just hit a solid concrete bumper post.

Go back to your monitoring station, clone. The main line is permanently closed to your drama.

« Previous Page Next Page »

ARE YOU READY TO GET SPOOKY?

YES NO

🎃 THE HAUNTED STORY 🎃 JANGSTA HALLOWEEN: THE ASIMA INCIDENT “Okay, everyone is here, right?” Jay asked. “No,” said Orange. “Who’s missing?” “I don't know.” “Then how do you know someone is missing?” “I don't.” Jay stared at him. “Never mind.” “Can we start?” CMKaitlyn asked. “I actually want to have a nice Halloween.” “That's adorable,” Bridget said. “Unfortunately, you know us.” Kaitlyn sighed. “I was afraid you'd say that.” PennRail walked in carrying a bag of candy. “Greetings, children.” Bridget immediately pointed at her. “GRANDMA HAS ARRIVED.” “I am twenty-one.” “Ancient.” PennRail stared at her. “I will throw you into the Schuylkill.” “That's very Philadelphia of you.” “Thank you.” Alex looked up from his phone. “Wait, which SEPTA route gets you closest to the Schuylkill?” “Alex.” “What?” “Don't encourage her.” Rashid walked in wearing a cape. Spritedfox looked at him. “What are you supposed to be?” “A sexy communist vampire.” Silence. Jay slowly turned around. “Why?” “Why not?” Spritedfox rubbed her forehead. “I regret asking.” Rashid smiled. “Also, I'm horny.” “We know,” said everyone simultaneously. “Damn.” Sashathetransitmapper walked in carrying a giant roll of paper. Jay looked at it. “What is that?” “My Halloween transit map.” “Why does Halloween need a transit map?” “Because I've made one.” “That does not answer the question.” “It has twelve lines.” Alex immediately stood up. “TWELVE?” “Fourteen, actually.” “LET ME SEE.” “No.” “WHY?” “Because you'll crease it.” Alex looked genuinely offended. “I'm a transit enthusiast.” “Exactly.” Niiko walked in. He looked around. “Where are the feet?” Everyone stopped. Jay blinked. “What?” “The feet.” “Whose feet?” “I don't know.” Spritedfox looked at him. “Niiko, it's been thirty seconds.” “I was wondering.” “About feet?” “Yes.” “Why?” “It's Halloween.” “That doesn't explain anything.” “It doesn't need to.” Foxey walked in. “HEYYYY :3” Kaitlyn smiled. “Foxey!” Foxey hugged her. “I'M BACK!” Bridget tackled her with a hug. “YOU'RE BACK!” “YES :3” “Never leave again.” “I'll try.” Kalli appeared behind them. “>:3” Jay immediately looked at her. “No.” “I haven't done anything.” “Exactly.” “What does that mean?” “It means you're Kalli.” Kalli smiled. “>:3” Halfdan entered. “Good evening. I am pleased to announce that I have arrived at this most extraordinary gathering.” Bridget stared. “Why do you talk like a 19th-century king?” “I find the English language most aesthetically pleasing when spoken with dignity.” “Just say hi.” “Greetings.” “Better.” Angelichan walked in wearing angel wings. Rashid looked at her. “Are you actually an angel?” “No.” “Damn.” Angelichan smacked him with a wing. “OW.” “Stop asking.” RealHolland entered carrying another bag of candy. “Hi everyone! I brought more candy!” “THANK YOU,” Kaitlyn said. Holland smiled. “Of course!” Jay looked suspiciously at her. “Why are you being so nice?” Holland blinked. “I'm always nice.” “That's exactly what a suspicious person would say.” “I literally brought candy.” “Could be poisoned.” Holland looked offended. “Why would I poison the candy?” “I don't know.” “Because I'm secretly evil?” Everyone stared at her. Holland smiled. “Yeah, totally.” Jay pointed. “SEE?” Suddenly, the lights went out. Everyone screamed. “WHAT THE HELL?” Bridget yelled. “Remain calm!” Halfdan announced. “WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?” “IT SEEMED APPROPRIATE.” “WHO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS?” Jay asked. Kalli's voice came from the darkness. “>:3” “KALLI.” “I didn't do it!” The lights came back. Everyone looked around. The doors were locked. A giant symbol had appeared on the wall. Spritedfox's expression changed immediately. “Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me.” Jay looked at her. “What?” “ASIMA.” Everyone groaned. “Not these assholes,” Bridget said. PennRail folded her arms. “I knew Halloween was going too well.” Orange started talking. “Okay, so technically we don't know if it's actually ASIMA because it could be someone impersonating ASIMA, although statistically speaking if someone were impersonating ASIMA they would probably use a symbol like that because it's recognizable and—” “Orange.” “Yes?” “Please breathe.” “Okay.” A voice echoed through the room. “JANGSTA.” Jay looked around. “Who said that?” “We are ASIMA.” Rashid shouted: “BOOOOO!” The voice continued. “We have come to put an end to your sinful Halloween celebration.” Bridget looked at Jay. “Can I hit them?” “Not yet.” “Damn.” The voice continued. “Your costumes are immoral.” Spritedfox shouted: “Fuck you!” “Your Halloween decorations are immoral.” “Fuck you!” “Your candy is immoral.” Kaitlyn gasped. “Leave the candy out of this.” “Your very existence—” “Okay, now you've pissed me off,” Jay said. The doors suddenly burst open. ASIMA members stormed into the room. Halfdan stepped forward. “Your intrusion into this gathering is entirely unacceptable.” One ASIMA member stared at him. “What?” Halfdan repeated himself. “You have entered this establishment without invitation, thereby violating the most fundamental principles of civilized conduct.” The ASIMA member looked confused. “Are you threatening us?” “No.” Halfdan pulled out a sword. “I'm politely informing you of the consequences.” “Oh.” Bridget charged. “AAAAAAAAAA!” “BRIDGET!” Kaitlyn yelled. “WHAT?” “WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AT THEM?” “BECAUSE IT'S FUN!” She swung her fake bat. BONK. An ASIMA member fell over. Jay stared. “Was that even legal?” PennRail shrugged. “Probably not.” “Why do you know that?” “Philadelphia.” “That doesn't answer anything.” “It never does.” Spritedfox raised her hand. “Everyone move.” Jay stepped back. “What are you doing?” “Making a point.” She pointed at ASIMA. “You people claim you're doing this because you care about morality, but you're just using religion as an excuse to control people.” The ASIMA leader looked furious. “You dare challenge us?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Because you're assholes.” Silence. Bridget whispered: “Based.” Spritedfox smiled. “Thank you.” Rashid suddenly jumped onto a chair. “REVOLUTION!” Everyone looked at him. “What revolution?” Jay asked. “I don't know yet.” “Then get off the chair.” “No.” “Rashid.” “Fine.” He jumped off. “OW.” Suddenly Alex looked outside. “Guys.” “What?” “There are trains outside.” Jay looked at him. “There are no train tracks outside.” “I know.” Sasha ran to the window. “What the hell?” A subway train was slowly approaching the building. It stopped. The doors opened. The sign said: JANGSTA HALLOWEEN SPECIAL. NEXT STOP: ASIMA HEADQUARTERS. Alex's eyes lit up. “WE HAVE TO TAKE IT.” Jay stared at him. “Why?” “Because it's a train.” “That is not a reason.” “It is to me.” Sasha was already running toward the door. “I'm going.” Alex followed. “ME TOO.” Jay sighed. “Everyone get on the fucking ghost train.” Everyone piled aboard. PennRail looked around. “This is the strangest train I've ever been on.” Alex gasped. “Really?” “Yes.” “You've ridden SEPTA.” “Exactly.” The train began moving. Orange immediately started narrating. “So we're currently traveling toward ASIMA headquarters, which raises several questions, including how this train exists, why it has no operator, why the route map appears to have been designed by Sasha, and why—” Sasha interrupted. “Because I designed it.” Orange nodded. “Okay.” Niiko looked at the seats. “Does this train have footrests?” Jay stared at him. “Why?” “Comfort.” “Sure.” “Also feet.” “Stop.” Kalli was sitting in the very back. She looked at Angelichan. “Wanna see something?” “No.” “You don't even know what it is.” “I know you.” Kalli pulled out a giant button. Angelichan stared. “What does that do?” “Nothing.” “Then why do you have it?” “>:3” “Kalli.” She pressed it. The train accelerated. Everyone screamed. PennRail grabbed the pole. “WHAT DID YOU DO?” “Nothing.” “YOU PRESSED THE BUTTON.” “That's unrelated.” The train suddenly stopped. Everyone slammed forward. Rashid landed in PennRail's lap. She stared at him. “Get off.” “Sorry.” “Immediately.” “Okay.” Bridget laughed. “HAHAHA.” PennRail pointed at her. “Don't.” The doors opened. ASIMA headquarters stood directly ahead. Jay stepped off. “Everyone ready?” Bridget raised her bat. “Yes.” Spritedfox raised her staff. “Yes.” Alex raised a transit map. “Yes.” Sasha raised a second transit map. “Yes.” Kaitlyn raised a candy bucket. “Yes.” Foxey raised both hands. “YES :3” Halfdan drew his sword. “I am prepared.” PennRail cracked her knuckles. “Let's do this.” Rashid raised his fist. “FOR COMMUNISM!” Spritedfox looked at him. “Please stop.” “No.” Jay stepped forward. “Let's ruin their night.” The ASIMA leader appeared. “You have come to challenge us?” Jay stepped forward. “Yep.” “You cannot defeat us.” Jay looked around. “Guys?” Everyone nodded. Kalli smiled. “>:3” Jay sighed. “Let's ruin their night.” Bridget charged first. “AAAAAAAAAA!” “Why does she always do that?” Kaitlyn asked. “It's her battle cry,” Foxey said. “Why?” “Because she's Bridget.” “Fair.” Bridget smashed through the first door. “OPEN UP!” “THE DOOR WAS ALREADY OPEN!” Orange yelled. “I KNOW!” Spritedfox ran through after her. “GET OUT OF HERE!” ASIMA members scattered. Rashid ran past yelling: “PANSEXUAL COMMUNIST POWER!” Jay grabbed him. “STOP ANNOUNCING YOUR ENTIRE IDENTITY WHILE ATTACKING PEOPLE.” “WHY?” “BECAUSE IT'S WEIRD.” “Fair.” Alex suddenly stopped. “WAIT.” Everyone stopped. “What?” “There are transit maps in here.” Sasha's eyes widened. “Where?” Alex pointed. “THERE.” They both sprinted away. Jay sighed. “Let them go.” PennRail nodded. “They'll be useless for about ten minutes.” Niiko looked around. “Guys.” “What?” “I found something.” “What?” He held up a shoe. Everyone stared. “Why is there a shoe in ASIMA headquarters?” Niiko smiled. “Interesting.” Jay walked away. “I don't want to know.” Holland was calmly handing candy to everyone. “Candy?” An ASIMA member stared at her. “Why are you giving me candy?” “Because you're fighting us.” “So?” “I still have manners.” The ASIMA member looked confused. “Are you secretly evil?” Holland smiled. “Yeah, totally.” She walked away. Kaitlyn approached another ASIMA member. “Can we please just end this?” “No.” “Why?” “Because we must destroy your sinful celebration.” Kaitlyn sighed. “It's Halloween.” “Yes.” “Can you just let us have one night?” “No.” Kaitlyn looked genuinely annoyed. “You're ruining everyone's fun.” The ASIMA member paused. “You're right.” “What?” “I don't know why we're doing this.” “What?” “I think I joined because someone said there would be free pizza.” Kaitlyn stared. “There's no pizza.” “I know.” “That's depressing.” “Very.” They walked away together. Halfdan entered the main room. “Ladies, gentlemen, and assorted Halloween enthusiasts.” Everyone turned. “I hereby declare this gathering to be under the protection of the Jangsta Halloween Council.” Jay whispered: “We don't have a Halloween Council.” “We do now.” “Okay.” Halfdan raised his sword. “ASIMA, surrender.” The leader laughed. “Never!” Kalli appeared behind him. “>:3” The leader slowly turned. “What are you doing?” Kalli pressed a button. The floor opened. The leader fell into a giant pit full of candy. There was silence. Jay looked at Kalli. “Where did you get that button?” Kalli smiled. “I made it.” “Of course you did.” The ASIMA members surrendered. Everyone cheered. Bridget jumped onto a table. “WE WON!” PennRail raised her fist. “PHILLY POWER!” Everyone stared at her. “Why Philadelphia?” “Because I'm from Philadelphia.” “Fair.” The ghost train returned. Everyone boarded. Alex sat down. “This was the best train began moving. Orange started talking again. “So statistically, this has probably been the most unusual Halloween gathering we've ever had, although technically we don't have enough historical data to establish that conclusively because—” “Orange.” “Yes?” “It's over.” “Oh.” Silence. Five seconds passed. Orange spoke again. “So anyway—” Everyone screamed. “ORANGE!” Niiko leaned back. “Hey Jay.” “What?” “Do you think the ghost train has footrests?” Jay closed his eyes. “I'm going to sleep.” “Can I have your shoes?” “No.” “Damn.” Kalli looked out the window. “>:3” Angelichan noticed. “What did you do?” “Nothing.” “Kalli.” “Nothing.” “Kalli.” She smiled. “Check the destination sign.” Angelichan looked. It now said: NEXT STOP: HALLOWEEN 2027. Jay opened one eye. “Absolutely fucking not.” The train vanished into the darkness. And from somewhere far behind them came the distant voice of the ASIMA leader: “WAIT! YOU FORGOT YOUR CANDY!” Bridget yelled back: “KEEP IT!” Rashid shouted: “FREE CANDY FOR THE PEOPLE! soyuz nerushimy” Spritedfox sighed. “Why am I friends with you people?” Foxey smiled. “Because we're cute :3” Spritedfox paused. “...Fair.” And PennRail, the ancient 21 dinal warrior of Reading, Pennsylvania, looked at everyone. “You are all ridiculous.” Bridget grinned. “Love you too, grandma.” PennRail immediately stood up. “GET BACK HERE.” “NOOOOO!” The train disappeared into the night. And Halloween was safe.

JANGSTA HALLOWEEN: THE ASIMA INCIDENT